Being Intimate with your spouse whilst fasting

Aa’isha (radi Allahu anha) said: “The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) used to kiss and be intimate (with his wives) when fasting and he was the most able of you to control his desire.”

[Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Commentary:

We benefit from the above narration of Aa’isha (radi Allahu anha) that is permissible for a man to be intimate with his wife whilst he is fasting, so long as no intercourse or ejaculation takes place.

Al-Sindi (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: “The word ‘yubaashir’ (translated above as “be intimate”) means touching the wife’s skin and her touching him, such as putting his cheek against hers and so on.” What is meant here is touching the skin, not intercourse.

In another narration found in Sahih Muslim, it is narrated from ‘Amr ibn Salamah (radi Allahu anhu) that he asked the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam), “Can a fasting person kiss (his wife)?” The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Ask her” – meaning Umm Salamah (radi Allahu anha) – and she told him that the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) used to do that.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy upon him) was asked: What is it permissible for a man who is fasting to do with his wife who is fasting? He replied: “A man who is observing an obligatory fast is not permitted to do anything with his wife that will lead to ejaculation. People vary in how quickly they reach climax; some of them are slow and can control themselves completely, as Aa’isha (radi Allahu anha) said concerning the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam), “he was the most able of you to control his desire.” Some of them cannot control themselves and ejaculate quickly. Such a person should not be intimate with his wife and touch her or kiss her etc. when observing an obligatory fast. If a person knows that he can control himself, then he can kiss and hug his wife even when observing an obligatory fast, but he must beware of intercourse.”

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy upon him) said: “A man may kiss, embrace and touch his wife, without having intercourse, when he is fasting. This is permissible and there is nothing wrong with it, because the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) used to kiss and touch his wives when he was fasting. But if there is the fear that he may do something that Allah has forbidden because his desire is aroused quickly, then it is makrooh (disliked) for him to do that. If he ejaculates he still should not eat or drink for the rest of the day, and he has to make up the fast, but he does not have to offer kafaarah (expiation) according to the majority of the scholars. But madhiy (prostatic fluid) does not invalidate the fast, according to the more correct of the two scholarly views, because the basic principle is that the fast remains valid, and because it is too difficult to avoid, and Allah is the Source of strength.”

And Allah knows best!

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